Saturday, September 24, 2005

Have Your Way Day

Helping Children Learn Decision Making Skills

Today is my daughter's "Have Your Way Day." We celebrate this day on the Saturday closest to the individual's half-birthday (six months after the real birthday). The day chosen is negotiable as it needs to be one in which parents are free to enjoy it with the child. I wish I could take credit for this idea, but it was the brainchild of my oldest daughter. Waiting a year for a Special Day is a long time, especially for children. The Have Your Way Day gives them another special day to anticipate in addition to their birthday.

How it Works
On your Have Your Way Day, you get to decide the day's activities and meals. You decide what we do, where we go and what we eat. It is a day when you get to plan a day that is completely yours.

There are a few groundrules. There are no presents or party like on a regular birthday. Also, you cannot exclude other family members from activities, force them to do something or break any normal family rules.

Benefits of the Have Your Way Day
We never considered the benefits of this day when we first started the tradition about seven years ago. However, we've discovered some wonderful benefits. The first benefit is a day where parents are "forced" to understand the child's interests and focus completely on the child.

Secondly, children are told day in and day out what to do. It is a pleasant change for them to have the opportunity to direct a special day.

Another benefit is that children learn important planning skills. They soon realize that you can only cram so much into a typical day. They have to set priorities and plan how long various activities will take. There are very few opportunities like this in an average child's day, so this experience provides a great learning opportunity. For the non-celebrants, it is a lesson in putting others before yourself.

Adults Need a Special Day Too
My husband and I also take a Have Your Way Day. Initially, we didn't celebrate one because after all we are adults and usually get our way. But even as adults we sacrifice our own needs and wants for those of our children. So it's nice to have your way even if you're all grown up!

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